While in Seoul we decided to take a day long tour up to the border of North Korea and visit the Demilitarized Zone (DMZ). This high-militarized area has become a tourist attraction for both sides. When you think about it though, it's a weird feeling knowing that you are going to visit a location where technically two countries are still at war and multiple militaries are facing off.
The tour we took was a busride to the border with stops at the Freedom Bridge, DMZ, and Joint Security Area. The only way to get to these spots is through strict tours. There are very strict guidelines that we must all follow which includes a dress code: no flip flops, no sandals, no sneakers, no ripped or faded jeans, no low cut shirts, no ripped shirts, no communist paraphernalia, no revolutionary paraphernalia, and no mini skirts. As our tour guide says, "You know why you can't wear the short skirts? Because it is too sexy for them." 'Them' refers to the North Korean guards. We also had to sign a United Nations waiver acknowledging the dangers. We weren't allowed to point - which was extremely difficult for me who points and talks rapidly with my hands. No alcohol was allowed to be drank before or during the tour. And pictures were allowed only when given permission.
Flip to the other side, to those rare and "lucky" tourists to visit North Korea, tours to the DMZ are much different from the South's. The North Korean tours, as I am told, go something like this: drink as much beer as you like, wave as much as you want, point at whoever you like, take pictures everywhere and anywhere, no waiver forms, and who cares about dress code? It's really just one big "fuck you" to the South.
Our tour was lightened by our Korean tour guide who had poor English grammar and made various jokes (see below for some of his best quotes). His last name was Kim, which about 80% of Koreans' last names are Kim. He duly told us to call him Mr. Kim. He then made the joke that Kim Jong-il was his brother. He proceeded to call Kim Jong-il his brother for the rest of the tour. They have the same last name, so why not? Good joke, Mr. Kim.
Flip to the other side, to those rare and "lucky" tourists to visit North Korea, tours to the DMZ are much different from the South's. The North Korean tours, as I am told, go something like this: drink as much beer as you like, wave as much as you want, point at whoever you like, take pictures everywhere and anywhere, no waiver forms, and who cares about dress code? It's really just one big "fuck you" to the South.
Our tour was lightened by our Korean tour guide who had poor English grammar and made various jokes (see below for some of his best quotes). His last name was Kim, which about 80% of Koreans' last names are Kim. He duly told us to call him Mr. Kim. He then made the joke that Kim Jong-il was his brother. He proceeded to call Kim Jong-il his brother for the rest of the tour. They have the same last name, so why not? Good joke, Mr. Kim.
We visited the Freedom Bridge where thousands of POWs were released and returned from both sides. The place was more of an attraction zone than a war site. Behind the bridge and memorials stood a tall building with fast food joints that included Popeyes, and next to it was an amusement park. Perhaps this is the South's "fuck you" to the North?
Next on the tour was Camp Bonifas, home to the most dangerous golf hole in the world, and the Joint Security Area. At the JSA we were shuffled into a building where the two sides will sometimes convene. On one side, is the South. The other side belongs to the North. Our tour guide nudged us over and said "Go, go, go, this will probably be your only chance to ever go to North Korea!" So I, along with everyone else on the tour, just took a step over the line and we were in North Korea. Took a step back, and we were back in South Korea. And that was my time spent in North Korea, and a good chance it will be my last.
Next on the tour was Camp Bonifas, home to the most dangerous golf hole in the world, and the Joint Security Area. At the JSA we were shuffled into a building where the two sides will sometimes convene. On one side, is the South. The other side belongs to the North. Our tour guide nudged us over and said "Go, go, go, this will probably be your only chance to ever go to North Korea!" So I, along with everyone else on the tour, just took a step over the line and we were in North Korea. Took a step back, and we were back in South Korea. And that was my time spent in North Korea, and a good chance it will be my last.
The tour ended with showing us the sites of the 1976 Axe Murder, the Bridge of No Return, and the Gift Shop at Camp Bonifas, which like other Gift Shops, took the moment to take complete advantage of the corralled tourists.
DMZ TOURS: you can only visit the DMZ on an organized tour. Ask your hotel or hostel on where to book.
MR. KIM QUOTES:
"Why did we construct so many bridges? To get to the other side, OBVIOUSLY!" - about the plethora of bridges in Seoul
"If you want to die, do it. But don't do it". - about no pointing and no using a camera at DMZ. Explanation: the North Korean guards will shoot you.
"Sleep 3-4 hours and you can try. 5-6 hours and you won't make it." - about students at university in Korea
"Kim Jong-il is my brother. But don't tell anyone cause I don't want trouble." - making the joke because his last name is also Kim
"Don't wave. They're going to wave at you. We have a lot of pretty girls on this tour. But don't." - they referring to the North Korean guards
"Oh my goodness, they have more freedom than us!" - after one of the women who had been to North Korea told him how they can do whatever they want at the DMZ.
"The South Korean president went to North Korea. You know who paid for that? I did." - South Korean tax money paid for the President to go to the North.
"He took the money. He put it into his mouth. That's why he got the more fat, the more belly. You know what else he got? Diabetes II." - about what Kim Jong-il did with the money given to the North by the South
"You know why I only had 6 months military service? Because I'm so handsome." - real reason is because his father was dead and his mother was sick so they gave him leave to take care of her.
"You know the communists. They love the blood." - explaining why everything is written in red in North Korea
"The North Koreans don't have this. But we do. We're like communists." - about how the tourists on the North Korean side don't have to sign a United Nations waiver form
"You Know why there are no SARs in Korea? Because of the kimchi. Kimchi is good for your whole body." - Kimchi is a Korean side dish
MR. KIM QUOTES:
"Why did we construct so many bridges? To get to the other side, OBVIOUSLY!" - about the plethora of bridges in Seoul
"If you want to die, do it. But don't do it". - about no pointing and no using a camera at DMZ. Explanation: the North Korean guards will shoot you.
"Sleep 3-4 hours and you can try. 5-6 hours and you won't make it." - about students at university in Korea
"Kim Jong-il is my brother. But don't tell anyone cause I don't want trouble." - making the joke because his last name is also Kim
"Don't wave. They're going to wave at you. We have a lot of pretty girls on this tour. But don't." - they referring to the North Korean guards
"Oh my goodness, they have more freedom than us!" - after one of the women who had been to North Korea told him how they can do whatever they want at the DMZ.
"The South Korean president went to North Korea. You know who paid for that? I did." - South Korean tax money paid for the President to go to the North.
"He took the money. He put it into his mouth. That's why he got the more fat, the more belly. You know what else he got? Diabetes II." - about what Kim Jong-il did with the money given to the North by the South
"You know why I only had 6 months military service? Because I'm so handsome." - real reason is because his father was dead and his mother was sick so they gave him leave to take care of her.
"You know the communists. They love the blood." - explaining why everything is written in red in North Korea
"The North Koreans don't have this. But we do. We're like communists." - about how the tourists on the North Korean side don't have to sign a United Nations waiver form
"You Know why there are no SARs in Korea? Because of the kimchi. Kimchi is good for your whole body." - Kimchi is a Korean side dish